Because Sometimes Two Isn’t Enough! Four Eyes Or Two? You decide!

Posted on March 24, 2010

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I can’t remember when I first realized I had to wear my glasses all the time but I know I refused to wear them outside of the classroom until I was seventeen.

When I was selected to attend an Army Cadet Outward Bound Course in Banff, Alberta, I decided it was high time to change my glasses-wearing habits. I wanted to see the Rockies rather than the impressionistic blobs I could otherwise expect without my glasses.

I also knew that once I was accustomed to seeing myself in glasses, I wouldn’t care what other people thought about me in glasses. I could take a summer amongst strangers to get used to my bespectacled face and then return to high school in the fall impervious to any potential jibes.

As soon as I started wearing glasses regularly, I started to long for the freedom of contact lenses. Unfortunately, back in the day, I couldn’t really afford contacts and the idea of sticking pieces of plastic in my eye didn’t sit well either.

Fast forward a few years.

Soon after touching down in Auckland, New Zealand, I was cast in Terrence McNally’s Corpus Christi which re-configures the traditional passion narrative by re-imagining Jesus and the Apostles as gay and American. The character I played was essentially the male equivalent of Mary Magdalene. I was meant to be “the hot piece of hustling ass” that tries to seduce Jesus but is saved instead.

Now, as we all know, hot pieces of hustling asses don’t wear glasses. I had also realized that acting without vision is a lot like playing music without hearing. It can be faked but it will never be as good as the real McCoy.

I finally got myself contact lenses.

I doubt I managed to pull off “hot piece of ass” but I’m sure I more closely approximated it without glasses and with clear vision. It’s difficult to dance provocatively in a go-go cage wearing glasses. It’s also hard to undress Jesus with your eyes if you can’t really see him.

Once I started wearing contacts regularly, I soon noticed that women — at that time and in that place anyway — were far less likely to give me “hello there” eyes when I was wearing glasses. In fact, when I wore them, I often felt vaguely invisible.

Fast forward a few years.

For the past couple of weeks, I have had a number of business-related interviews and, as a general rule of thumb, I do glasses for, well, business-related interviews.

Now I am prepared to admit it may be the the sharp-dressed-man effect and/or the unseasonal spring-like conditions but, in the past couple of weeks, I’ve noticed a sudden and unexpected spike in “hello there” eyes. And my initial hypothesis is that it may be the glasses.

So this got me a-wondering.

Because I’m wrong about pretty much everything that doesn’t involve abstract critical reasoning, it occurred to me, contrary to the lessons of American mass media, perhaps girls do dig guys in glasses.

Or at least Ottawa women. I’ve noticed that they tend to wear glasses much more often than Auckland women did. And like normally attracts like. Or maybe fashion tastes have shifted thanks to the hipster revolution.

Whatever the reason may be, I realized I really have no choice but to put the question to my blog posse!

So let the taste test begin!

I’m not sure which version of me is Pepsi and which version is Coke but the difference between me with glasses and me without seems comparable to the difference between these two great competitors. Or maybe it’s more like fork v. spoon. Taste great v. less filling?

Anyways.

One …
With glasses!

and two …

Without glasses!

Voila!

So. 1) Overall, which do you prefer? With glasses or without glasses? 2) For business-related first-impression purposes, am I correct to think glasses are the more sensible choice?

Also. Are there any other four-eyes out there who notice different reactions from people based on whether or not they are wearing glasses?

Generally-speaking, do folks prefer people with or without glasses?

Ultimately, I prefer wearing contacts. Glasses are heavy, the field of clear vision isn’t as complete, and they get dirty. Based on the results of this poll, however, I may wear my glasses strategically more often.

Let me know what you think!

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Posted in: Fashion