I realized something: I don’t reminisce; I analyze.
By reminisce, I mean something like, “bask in the warm glow of a remembered past.” In contrast, when I think about my past, I examine my memories to better understand the choices I made in light of the circumstances I faced. The goal is to edify rather than to aggrandize or debase.
Why did I do this rather than that? What factors affected my decision? What factors were under my control or beyond my control? Could it had been different? If it had been different, what might have resulted, how might I have resulted?
When I was young (say, late teens/early twenties) I do remember reminiscing. I also remember promising myself very early on that I would not spend the rest of my life looking back on the past as the best years of my life. The best days are yet to come, I firmly resolved. They are always yet to come.
I’m tempted to say I rid myself of the habit of reminiscing as a reaction to and against the baby boomers’ perpetual rearward aggrandizing I was forced to endure. Although my reaction against this experience was an important factor, I don’t think it was decisive. I analyze rather than reminisce because I discovered — almost accidentally — that an honest and careful analysis of my memories greatly improves my day-to-day well being. I don’t bask in the warm glow of a remembered past because, thanks to some work, I bask instead in the warm glow of now and the illimitable possibility of the future.
I should also say: I’m not claiming it is necessarily wrong to reminisce. I claim only that analysis is more useful for me.
Do you reminisce or do you analyze? Why?
Wayne C.
January 31, 2011
I love to reminisce with others; especially when it is done over a few drinks. I guess for me it’s pretty much a shared activity. I rarely do this alone. To be fair, I rarely analyze solo either.
Sterling Lynch
January 31, 2011
There is, for sure, a role for reminiscing with respect to the nurturing of relationships and group cohesiveness.
Hmm, this makes me wonder if there is a place for a group analysis of shared memory. My hunch is to say, no. The kind of analysis I have in mind might be too threatening to existing relationships. Perhaps this is why businesses, companies, and organization have such a hard time doing truly effective post-op analysis.
nadinethornhill
February 2, 2011
You and Wayne totally analyze your shared memories. I’ve seen you do it!
I sometimes reminisce, but it’s rare. I’ve been pretty happy with my adult life, particularly in the last 4 -5 years. When I’m happy in the present, I don’t linger too long in the past. Even when I’m unhappy, I’m more likely to seek solace in the future.
I definitely analyze. Probably because my parents are therapists. Growing up, evening conversations with my dad usually involved these questions:
“What did you do today?”
“How do you feel about that?”
“Why do you think that is?”
But more than analyze or reminisce about the past, I fantasize. That fantasy usually involves an elaborate dance number. I figure what’s done is done and memory isn’t the truth any way. Might as well throw in some tight choreography.
Sterling Lynch
February 5, 2011
Lol! I’m going to have to try adding some dance numbers to my memories! Fantasy is also an important third option I overlooked!
Whenever I think carefully about memory, it kind of blows my mind…. ka-blow!