Browsing All posts tagged under »friendship«

Between Laissez-Faire and The Rule of Law: What is the Politics of Your Relationship?

August 18, 2014


The aim of this (rather lengthy) post is to propose a framework with which to make sense of and assess the many ways two (or more persons) might arrange and organize their relationship.

La Grande Bellezza: Admired but Never Known.

March 5, 2014


Once a woman passes a certain threshold of physical attractiveness, it’s not unreasonable to claim that, for her, every heterosexual man is, in principle, sexually attainable. In most cases, a man will resist the sexual advances of a woman he finds attractive only when there is some kind of promise, rule, or law he feels […]

The Call of Duty: Your Heart May Call, the Beloved Isn’t Obliged To Answer.

February 3, 2014


My feelings for a person don’t create any duties, responsibilities, or obligations for that person.

Ain’t Nothing but Mammals: Do the Reasons for Attachment Matter?

January 20, 2014


A friend recently made the point to me that a woman’s decision to go home with a man on any given night might be something that simply happens, without explanation, and for no particular reason. I’ve been trying to figure out why I find the plausibility of this claim unsettling. On the face of it, […]

Love’s Wordless Understanding: What Does It Mean?

December 12, 2011


There’s a story, from one of my all time favorite books, that goes something like this: a musician plays a beautiful and complex piece of music for an attentive listener. When the musician concludes the piece, the listener asks, “what does it mean?” The musician, as a answer, plays the piece again, note for note. […]

Art Imitating Life Imitating Art Imitating Life Imitating Art.

December 5, 2011


In chapter 7 of my novel, A Derivation of Love, Desmond decides to write a semi-autobiographical novel about boys and girls and the problems between them. The chapter concludes when a friend tells him to put lots of sex in the book, otherwise, “it won’t sell.” At this stage in the novel, which has been […]

A Derivation of Love: An Experiment in Failure.

November 14, 2011


In November of 2001, I set out to fail. I had decided, once and for all, to write a novel. Unfortunately, I had also recently decided that the novel is impossible (to borrow a fashionable phrase of the time.) A novel is impossible, I thought, because it is impossible to capture or represent a life […]


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