To Be or Not To Be: What Does “Parent” Mean To You?

Posted on December 28, 2011


Recently, a friend asked me, “why don’t you want to be a parent?”

It’s been a long time since anyone asked me that question, and my first response didn’t seem right.

So, I thought about it some more.

Fortunately, some time earlier, the same friend had asked me to define what I meant by “parent.”

I define “parent,” as a person for whom a child is the most important consideration in his or her life. A parent, in this definition, is a person who gives ultimate weight to the well being of a child when making decisions about life.

By reflecting on that definition, it became clear to me why I don’t want to be a parent.

I don’t want to be a parent because I am not prepared to give a child that level of consideration in my life’s decisions. Moreover, I’m not prepared to sire and/or raise a child, unless I am willing to give him or her that level of consideration.

I should say, my observation is personal and not general.

I think it’s possible for parents to live very fulfilling and productive lives, however, I’m not convinced that I could live the life I want to live, while giving a child’s well being ultimate consideration.

How do you define “parent?”

Are you a parent? Why did you become a parent?

Not a parent? Why do you want to become a parent, or why don’t you want to become a parent?