Mandy Len Catron, in this very sweet and enjoyable piece, tells the story of how, one evening, she and a friend tempted both Fate and Cupid, using a technique developed by Dr. Arthur Aron more than twenty years ago. And, lo and behold, it worked! They fell in love.
And it only took three easy steps. No wine required, but it probably can’t hurt.
- Find a willing partner/test subject.
- Ask and honestly answer these thirty-six questions.
- Stare silently into each other’s eyes for four unbroken minutes.
Are you, like me, reminded of both The Simpsons and those superstitions that involve muttering a name into a mirror. Do you really want the apparition to appear? I mean, really?
Think of it another way.
If you and a potential partner could swallow a pill that would ensure a mutually respectful, and lasting love, would you take it with just anyone or would you wait for the best match to come along? I suspect the latter, unless, of course, you’re over thirty.
And that may be the key point. Dr. Aron’s technique seems to be about mainlining intimacy. Do that with a partner — any partner — and there is a good chance you will fall in love. Mainline with the wrong person, and you may end up in love, but not so happy.
Coming full circle, it seems love can — and perhaps even should be — a choice, rather than something that happens to us. Find a plausible match, encourage intimacy, and, then, look into each other’s eyes.
When I put it like that, the technique sounds a lot like a good romantic date. It also makes me think that people falling out of “love” are actually falling out of “intimacy”.
Can you think of someone you want to test this test on? Why not give it a try? I double dare you! Please let us know how it goes below.
Safer still, if you are already in a relationship, why not give it a go? It might rekindle the simmering flames much more than another lame “dinner-and-a-movie date night.” Let us know how it goes!
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